One Voice, Many Stories
08/08/2011
Submitted by
ILGA-Europe
Original article: http://www.rnw.nl/english/article/one-voice-many-stories
Exuberant partying men exhibing bare torsos and cool women on decorated boats parading through the Amsterdam canals is the first image that comes to mind on hearing the words Gay Pride.
by Merijn Vāsavi Hattink
That there's more between heaven and earth in the world of gays and lesbians during the Pride was demonstrated by women’s organization Zami in the Amsterdam Public Library on Wednesday. At an evening themed 'One Voice, Many Stories' there was a lot of talk. No in-depth discussions about literary works or important social issues, but story-telling at a very personal level.
Zami, describing itself as ‘an organisation for black, migrant and refugee women'. hit upon the idea last year at an event organized by Lesbian Pride.
Closet
"At our last gathering it became clear that the the public cannot always identify itself with the prevailing thought in the Netherlands that your sexual identity is linked to your sexual preference. There was a great need to share experiences", according to Astrid Runs-Engelhart of Zami.
A widely varied panel of five women told the audience about their lives. Generously taking their personal stories out of the closet, they stimulated the audience to share their experiences.
What you don't say
The diversity of the public and the panel in age, cultural and social backgrounds ensured a ‘grand buffet’ of stories. The seating in a circle gave a sense of intimacy and togetherness where everyone’s words had a place.
The question of whether to make your sexual preference known to your surroundings and in what way causes much consternation. There was clearly a difference between generations and a difference between cultures.
“In Taiwan”, said panel member Shu Yi Huang, “you don’t say: I’m a lesbian, but: I don’t like men, and you’ll get a friendly nod then from the person asking the question".
'Aunts'
Then you have the stories of the so-called ‘aunts’ also called ‘matis’. The older Surinamese ladies in the library told colourful stories about them. These women often had, aside from their hubands, an intimate relationship with a woman. Everyone knew, but it was never talked about.
A young woman with Surinamese roots who grew up in Friesland described how she reacted with indignation when she visited Suriname as a young girl. She did not then understand why these women were called aunts. “They are not family members and their intimate attitudes strongly resemble what in the Netherlands is known as lesbian”. Yet she never uses the word lesbian. "When people ask ‘What are you?’ she answers: I’m Cynthia and I love women". The L-word has too many negative connotations, she felt.
“Why must you label yourself?” asked a middle-aged blonde woman. "A heterosexual person never says I am hetero. It would be best if people could be open-minded and simply ask Do you like men or women?”
Panel member Robin from New York City said that in the wild eighties you explicitly described your homosexuality. In the following decade, though, one went in search of one's unique lesbian personality and it was generally accepted that you did not put a name to it.
Bare-bottomed men
At the end of the evening all the women and their stories put paid to the stereotype of lesbians as cigar-smoking girls in jeans with short spiky hair. The general feeling about gay and lesbian stereotypes was summed up nicely by Anja Wiersma who said that she, too, did not recognise herself in the one prevailing image of the Gay Pride Parade: “Bare-bottomed men on a boat”.
Exuberant partying men exhibing bare torsos and cool women on decorated boats parading through the Amsterdam canals is the first image that comes to mind on hearing the words Gay Pride.
by Merijn Vāsavi Hattink
That there's more between heaven and earth in the world of gays and lesbians during the Pride was demonstrated by women’s organization Zami in the Amsterdam Public Library on Wednesday. At an evening themed 'One Voice, Many Stories' there was a lot of talk. No in-depth discussions about literary works or important social issues, but story-telling at a very personal level.
Zami, describing itself as ‘an organisation for black, migrant and refugee women'. hit upon the idea last year at an event organized by Lesbian Pride.
Closet
"At our last gathering it became clear that the the public cannot always identify itself with the prevailing thought in the Netherlands that your sexual identity is linked to your sexual preference. There was a great need to share experiences", according to Astrid Runs-Engelhart of Zami.
A widely varied panel of five women told the audience about their lives. Generously taking their personal stories out of the closet, they stimulated the audience to share their experiences.
What you don't say
The diversity of the public and the panel in age, cultural and social backgrounds ensured a ‘grand buffet’ of stories. The seating in a circle gave a sense of intimacy and togetherness where everyone’s words had a place.
The question of whether to make your sexual preference known to your surroundings and in what way causes much consternation. There was clearly a difference between generations and a difference between cultures.
“In Taiwan”, said panel member Shu Yi Huang, “you don’t say: I’m a lesbian, but: I don’t like men, and you’ll get a friendly nod then from the person asking the question".
'Aunts'
Then you have the stories of the so-called ‘aunts’ also called ‘matis’. The older Surinamese ladies in the library told colourful stories about them. These women often had, aside from their hubands, an intimate relationship with a woman. Everyone knew, but it was never talked about.
A young woman with Surinamese roots who grew up in Friesland described how she reacted with indignation when she visited Suriname as a young girl. She did not then understand why these women were called aunts. “They are not family members and their intimate attitudes strongly resemble what in the Netherlands is known as lesbian”. Yet she never uses the word lesbian. "When people ask ‘What are you?’ she answers: I’m Cynthia and I love women". The L-word has too many negative connotations, she felt.
“Why must you label yourself?” asked a middle-aged blonde woman. "A heterosexual person never says I am hetero. It would be best if people could be open-minded and simply ask Do you like men or women?”
Panel member Robin from New York City said that in the wild eighties you explicitly described your homosexuality. In the following decade, though, one went in search of one's unique lesbian personality and it was generally accepted that you did not put a name to it.
Bare-bottomed men
At the end of the evening all the women and their stories put paid to the stereotype of lesbians as cigar-smoking girls in jeans with short spiky hair. The general feeling about gay and lesbian stereotypes was summed up nicely by Anja Wiersma who said that she, too, did not recognise herself in the one prevailing image of the Gay Pride Parade: “Bare-bottomed men on a boat”.
